Thoughts, Gripes and Plenty of Ramblin'

Wanted to put in a little plug for a friend of mine, Josh Moreno…

This young aspiring filmmaker has been filming, editing and promoting the ever-lovin’ crap out of his little internet TV show, Girls Will Be Girls, for quite a few years now. This past year he even put together an awards show…

Today I got a text from Josh letting me know that his show will be featured on the 5:00 news here in Columbus, OH (NBC 4).

Josh is just one of those guys that has something about him that makes you love him right from the first time you meet him. He deserves this and I wanted all of you to know about his NBC debut… though I’m sure he sent you a text too!

Proud of you Josh!

Whilst listening to sports talk radio from my old stomping grounds the other day, I just so happened to tune in during a rather interesting discussion.

The afternoon guys on 97.1 the Ticket, Valenti & Foster, were complaining as they usually do about the topic du jour which usually has nothing to do with sports. On this day the topic was fat people on airplanes.

Terry Foster, who used to be a frequent traveler as a sports columnist for one of the local newspapers, told all his “horror” stories of having to sick next to “fatty” on his trips around the country. Mike Valenti, the master complainer and eternal pessimist, threw out all the cliches of how fat people smell and sweat and breath heavy and generally don’t deserve to live in the same atmosphere as his large ego.

After they both had a chance to rant, they opened it up to callers. Let me just say, that sports talk radio is a haven for the grumblers, complainers and chronically crabby in Detroit (and other places I’m sure).

As the calls began to come in, there was not much tolerance for the pleasantly plump, much less the morbidly obese. People were saying that those “chunky” individuals shouldn’t even be allowed on the plane. The best thing I heard was putting a seat in the terminal before boarding and if you couldn’t fit in the seat, you couldn’t fly.

Let me just say, I’m not against being charged for two seats if I don’t fit in one. I’m okay with the reality that planes are not made for “people of size” as I once heard us referred to. To say that people that are bigger shouldn’t be allowed to fly is ridiculous. If we’re willing to pay more to fly, then there should be no reason to deny us a ride on your fancy aero-plane.

If these Airlines had any sense at all, they would cater to larger people. Instead they continually make the seats smaller and smaller. I would venture a guess and say most people are uncomfortable flying the friendly skies.

One last thing I have to say is this, I realize that being overweight is not ideal. I don’t want to be the way I am and it’s a constant struggle, but telling me that I shouldn’t be allowed to fly on a plane doesn’t motivate me to change… it just pisses me off that people actually are that stupid.

We’re people too, there’s just more of us to love.

As someone who really enjoys watching sports, I’ve officially entered one sport territory until the Fall.

Hockey has always been my first love, but over the past 10 years or so, Football has inched closer and closer to the top. It’s tough for me to admit that, because I like being different. Being an NHL fan is different, let me tell ya’. I’m definitely in the minority when it comes to the being a fan of the NHL.

At this point in the year, the Superbowl has capped off another NFL season and all the Bowl games for NCAA are long gone, so now the NHL can have my undivided attention (except for the NFL Draft… the Detroit Lion’s Superbowl).

The NHL trade deadline & the playoffs are my favorite time of the year. Once the playoffs start, there is hockey every night… oh wait, there used to be hockey every night, but the Commissioner of the NHL, Gary Bettman, toyed with that a bit to appease his hockey flagship, Versus.

So, let’s start again… the playoffs are on quite a few nights during the week on Versus. The only problem is, I have DIRECTV (which I love) and right now they’re in a bit of a squabble with Versus. Did I mention that Versus was owned by Comcast? Yes, the same Comcast that probably would like nothing more than to crush DIRECTV and continue to monopolize TV all over the US (Google it people… they own everything).

The good news is, this little tiff can’t last much longer right? I mean, they took Versus off DIRECTV in October, so they should have this whole thing worked out before the playoffs, right? I mean, Gary Bettman would obviously get these two in a room and work this out by then, I’m sure he’s already tried, right? Oh, he hasn’t? Hm, I wonder why?

Did I mention that Comcast, which owns Versus, also owns the Philadelphia Flyers of the NHL? Yup, they sure do. Gary Bettman just so happens to work for the NHL owners, all 30 of them. Maybe he doesn’t want to make his boss upset. Well, that’s just silly. There’s no way that Gary would disenfranchise all those fans that have DIRECTV just because Comcast, who owns Versus and the Philadelphia Flyers, can’t play nice.

Did I mention that Comcast now owns NBC? NBC is the only network that would even put the NHL on real tv (no offense cable/satellite providers). I’m sure NBC paid a lot of money though… wait, did I mention that they didn’t pay anything to air the NHL on NBC? Yeah, not a dime.

So, let’s see if we can figure this out. The commissioner of the NHL, Gary Bettman, has two partners that show NHL games on a national level… Versus & NBC. Comcast owns Versus & NBC. Comcast doesn’t want you to watch satellite tv, because it costs them money (plus you’ll see how amazing HD is on DIRECTV). Comcast – I mean – Versus wants more money from DIRECTV to have Versus in there channel lineup. I’m sure the negotiations went something like this…

DIRECTV: “Okay, let’s see what you have to offer us, I’m sure we can work something out.”

Versus: “We have the NHL, MMA, racing, the Bull Riding and Sports Soup.”

DIRECTV: “Wow! You guys have the UFC?!? People pay big bucks to watch that stuff. Mixed Martial Arts is really gaining in popularity.”

Versus: “Well, we actually have the WEC, kind of like the minor leagues of the UFC.”

DIRECTV: “Well, you do have NASCAR and that sport really has a great following.”

Versus: “Let me stop you right there, we actually have Indy Car Racing – but we also have cycling. We cover that Tour de France thingy too.”

DIRECTV: “Hmmmm…”

Versus: “We also have college football now!”

DIRECTV: “That sounds good, tell me more.”

Versus: “We broadcast Mountain West Conference games, like Brigham Young, Colorado State, University of New Mexico, Air Force and U of N.”

DIRECTV: “Well U of M has a big following, that might be good.”

Versus: “Nope, I said ‘N’ not ‘M’ as in the University of Nevada. Did I mention we have the NHL and Sports Soup?”

DIRECTV: “Yes, yes you did. I think we actually might be paying you too much.”

The long and the short of it is, the main people in charge of the NHL are total idiots. Not just because they have allowed Comcast to stop millions of potential viewers from watching the NHL nationally, but because they have no idea how to market and grow this game.

If I really wanted to be good at something, I would study and emulate someone who was really good at that something. When it comes to running sports leagues, there is no one who does it better than the NFL. I’m sure Gary could give Roger Goodell a ring or even send him an email and pick his brain a bit. Heck, even if he met with the marketing team or former NFL insiders, anything that could help him see how to market the game of hockey.

This whole Versus/DIRECTV is just another blunder in a long line of screw-ups that the NHL has managed to pull off for many years. They’re a distant 4th in professional sports and nobody cares about the game. Even in Hockey Meccas, like Detroit, sports talk radio stations like 97.1 the Ticket barely utter a word about hockey during their drive-time show, Valenti & Foster.

Somebody… anybody with any influence whatsoever in the NHL. Please listen to your fans. You are doing a horrible job and some, if not all of your die-hard fans just might have some good ideas for you.

Until then I’ll keep my fingers crossed that DIRECTV & Comcast can work something out before mid-April… if history is any indication, I may have to become a fan of baseball. I think I just fell asleep even thinking about that.

Pure Slapstick Gold… Enjoy.

www.ramblinscotzman.com

I decided today would be a great day to launch my website, www.ramblinscotzman.com

Thanks to my good friend John, I’m up an running on my very own website. This is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while and just procrastinated and put it off for a very long time, but now it’s here.

I’m hoping to get back to blogging and sharing with everyone on a regular basis and decided on today because I’d like to have a specific goal:

Blog/Share at least 3 to 4 times a week over the next month. The end of that month just so happens to be my birthday, February 26th.

Sounds like an easy enough goal and I’m hoping people stop by and comment on my thoughts and share their own. I just want to get back in the habit of doing something I love. Writing.

Just a heads up… I look forward to sharing a lot with you, but if you are easily offended or a just a downer in general, I’ll warn you upfront that I’m opinionated and at my age, I am who I am. I won’t go out of my way to offend people and I’m all good with differing opinions, but the title of the website is the Ramblin Scotzman and the views expressed here are mine. Some of them may be different than yours…

Looking forward to sharing my thoughts with you… tell your friends to check me out and follow me on Twitter: @ramblinscotzman

Peace.

Well, the official launch of my new website, www.ramblinscotzman.com will be happening any day now. Just putting the finishing touches on the look and getting a few blogs ready so I can hit the ground running…

Plus, I didn’t want my last post about Jon & Kate to be the first thing people saw if they stumbled upon my website.

There should be some new material headed your way very soon…

Not sure how many people tuned in last night, but I’m sure it broke some records. I tuned in and I’m not even a fan of the show. I hoped I would see something different happen last night, but I didn’t.

I’m talking about the TLC “reality” show, Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Part of me thought I shouldn’t even write about this. Giving them more attention just feeds into the disaster that they are already a part of.

As I watched last night I heard Jon & Kate throwing out this phrase, “for my kids,” a lot.

“I do everything for my kids.”

“We’re doing this for our kids.”

“This is the best thing for my kids.”

Really?

As the tension built throughout the show, I just kept shaking my head. Why would they do this to their kids? What benefit would the kids get from the decision they were about to make? What would those kids think when they looked back at this TV show that brought them so much fortune and fame but destroyed their family?

Do you think that every one of those kids wouldn’t give up all the toys and things that they get from this show to have their mommy and daddy together?

Maybe Jon & Kate don’t have any real friends or family members that care enough to speak the truth to them, but someone should have told them a long time ago that it’s time to step up and put your family first.

Turn off the cameras. Tell TLC to kiss off. Deal with whatever consequences come your way and save your family. They don’t need “crooked houses,” picnic lunches on acres of land or anything else but their family.

Do you think TLC really cares one bit about you as a human being. If they did, they would say, “Hey, we’re going to put the show on hold and get you guys some counseling. We love you too much to let this show destroy your family. These kids need you.” The only thing they see are huge ratings and tons of cash piling in. It’s really despicable.

I know this is just one family who just happens to be famous for taking fertility drugs and having 6 kids at once, but seriously this whole thing is just a taste of what happens in families all over the world. People are so willing to throw in the towel on their marriage.

Jon and Kate could work through this. There was something there. They loved each other at some point. I wish I had five minutes to talk with them to show them what they are doing. In reality they know what they are doing. The money and the fame and all that goes with it are just too much for them to let go of apparently.

Soon the lights will fade on their little show. America likes a happy ending and this is not a happy ending. Maybe they will realize that the show will get a ratings boost if they reconcile and stay married… or maybe we can pray they turn those cameras off and do the right thing.

I just finished up what I can only call another train wreck in the long line of disasters by the NHL marketing department.

The NHL Awards Ceremony aired last night on VS here in the United States. I’m sure you missed it, but I am a glutton for many things and one of them happens to be punishment doled out like a BC two hander by my first love in sports, the NHL. Thank God for the DVR.

This year was the big hurrah of the NHL as they moved the Awards from the Great White North to the Deserts of Sin City. Look out Vegas here comes the NHL!

To start things off with a bang, the NHL spared no expense and went for a home run with their opening act. None other than the mega-stars who’ve been on top of the charts and number one in your hearts for a very long time, Robin Thicke (son of Growing Pains star Alan Thicke) and Chaka Khan. Yes, I just said Chaka Khan. Way to play to your audience guys.

The first presenters didn’t disappoint either. Kevin Connelly, from Entourage, Michael Buble along with one of the big mouths of the NHL, Jeremy Roenick. Buble and Connelly read the tele-prompter almost as well as Obama and Jeremy Roenick struggled to string more than two words together. It was pretty pathetic.

Did I mention all the empty seats at the Palms in Las Vegas. There were quite a few. Couldn’t you hire some seat warmers or give away some tickets? Honestly, who would want them?

Not only did the NHL trot out some amazingly high profile celebs like, Colin Ferguson from the “hit show” Eureka (it’s on the SciFi Channel, I had no idea), William Fichtner (Prison Break) and mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer but they paired them with some NHL superstars of years gone by. Always a recipe for awesomeness. Then hoping you would forget, they had those same celebs present at other times throughout the show. Nothing like a little recycled Jeremy Roenick and Michael Buble to keep you on your toes.

Did I mention what a total idiot Jeremy Roenick was? Good. He also graced the stage a few times to stammer his way through a few awards and show his amazing comic timing and stellar improv skills.

A few of the awards were just presented by the good ol’ boys of the NHL. They may not be slick talkers or be great at reading from cue cards, but at least they are down to earth and likeable people. Enter former Oiler great, Glenn Anderson. Not only did he think he should pick up on the douchebag tendencies of Jeremy Roenick, but he thought he’d throw in a little biggotry just for fun when he said, “I thought these were the NHL Awards, not the Russian Awards.” This in response to most of the Awards going to Russian players. Thanks Don Cherry Jr., we appreciate you pointing that out for us.

Speaking of Russians, “they need learn speak English as people understand properly what saying they are.” Evgeni Malkin was the worst offender of the English language (he’s only like 22 years old, so I’ll cut him some slack), while Alexander Ovechkin and my own favorite Pavel Datsyuk were a close second. Although, Ovechkin got the second biggest laughs when telling Malkin, “You English not bad as Pavel.” Pavel actually got the biggest laughs when he accepted his second award of the night saying, “second time, not as ner-wous.”

To top off the “Russian Awards” someone thought it would be a great idea to send out Hall of Famer, Igor Larionov with Vladimir Konstantinov. Konstantinov suffered a severe closed head injury 12 years ago. He is walking and talking even though doctors thought he never would, but to put him onstage with his walker and have him present an Award was pretty horrible. Stay classy Gary Bettman.

As the evening continued to degenerate Mark Messier gave out his own Award, the Mark Messier Leadership Award. He also did a fabulous job of putting all 3 of the people watching the broadcast into a deep slumber.

Finally, Kevin Smith popped up on the screen and provided a few moments of reprieve by talking about how much he loved the NHL. Besides Pavs winning two awards, that was the highlight. Yes, a less than 30 second appearance by Kevin Smith was one of the highlights.

Before the night ended the head dufus of the NHL braintrust made his usually awkward appearance to present a Lifetime Achievement Award to Jean Beliveau. I am always suprised that these old timers don’t elbow Bettman right in the face.

What better way to end the night of nights for the NHL than with the smooth sounds of… you guessed it, Chaka Khan.

So I ask you people of North America, why aren’t you fired up about “the Greatest Sport on Earth?”

If anyone in the NHL took the time to look at the NFL and see how they have taken their sport to the highest heights, maybe, just maybe the NHL would have a chance. Heck, why not go and hire away the some of the people that have marketed the NFL so well. Pay them whatever they want and let them reshape the way people look at this sport.

The Help Wanted sign still hangs in the window of the NHL. Fans long for the day when Sportscenter shows more than 30 seconds of NHL highlights. They hope for a day when one of the Networks actually cares to show their games in Prime Time. They hope for a day when people know other players besides Sidney Crosby (the face of the NHL, strangely absent from the NHL Awards Show, way to go face).

For now, we have to settle for more of the same. A sport that hasn’t figured out how to market a game that when seen in person makes many skeptics turn into fans. Some of the most talented athletes you’ll never know play this game. It’s a shame those who guide the ship don’t have a compass.

My wife makes cards. They’re really good too. She and a bunch of chicks that we know from church are all into card making, stamping, scrap-booking, etc. It’s kind of a sickness, but as far as addictions go, I guess it’s not a bad one.

May, June & July seem to have a decent amount of cards that are made for friends and family around here, so I usually have a card or two sitting on my computer or somewhere near where most of my activities take place with a pen and a note to please say something nice and sign it so Cheryl can mail out her latest masterpiece.

I usually procrastinate the writing and signing until Cheryl gives me the “I need to mail that tomorrow to get it to (insert name here) in time.” I hate doing that to her, but the pressure to come up with something new and exciting to say to people that makes them feel good on their special day is tough. Especially when you are the funny, sensitive guy.

I started thinking about this yesterday, because the reminder from Cheryl came for me to write something nice to my Dad for Father’s Day. I stared at the wonderfully created card and wondered what to write on it’s blank canvas. It’s always tough for me to write something really nice to my Dad that I haven’t said before. The truth is, my Dad is a great guy. I love him, so it’s easy to say he’s a nice Dad and he always took care of me, blah, blah, blah. It just starts to feel like I’ve said it all before.

The truth is, my Dad wouldn’t remember if I put together a three year rotation of nice things to say to him. While I feel like I am repeating everything, he would just think compliment iPod was on shuffle. My Dad is not the type to really care about the mushy stuff that I might write anyway. I hate to say this, but I wonder if he even reads the cards. I’m sure my Mom reads them to him at least.

Cheryl’s Dad is now asking her to throw a childhood memory into her Father’s Day cards. Thankfully, Cheryl has a good memory. My scope of feel good stories is rather limited in some ways. A lot of my childhood memories involved me being a pain in the butt and getting in trouble. They’re funny of course, but not exactly the kind of stories that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I remember when we used to just go to Hallmark or the drug store and pick out a card. That is what we paid those greeting card writers for. They came up with some sappy, well thought out words to make the recipient feel like you loved them. Plus, you spent a good 10 to 15 minutes looking for just the right card that had a good picture on it and something inspiring written inside. Those were the days. Buy it, sign it, send it or better yet hand it to the person.

Some people have even taken it a step further and made it almost effortless. E-Cards. You know someone sort of thinks of you sometimes when you get one of these links in your email inbox. Especially if like me, you only look at the freebies. For some reason the idea of paying for something intangible in cyberspace is too much for me. If I am paying for the E-Card, I want the person to be able to read it, put their hands on it and throw it away. The computer trash can doesn’t count.

So the next time you get a card from someone think about all the anxiety that went into it. It should make you smile to know that someone felt intense pressure to write something nice for you on your special day.

There is a disturbing dirty little secret that has crept it’s way back into my life… “Reality TV.”

I had sworn off these horrible shows a few years ago because I found myself hating people I didn’t really know. Since I say I love Jesus and am a follower of His I remember reading somewhere that you aren’t supposed to hate people… something like you already murdered them in your heart, there is no light in you and so on and so on. I have since moved from hate to annoyed or mildly annoyed.

So I decided it was in my best interest to stop watching because I really hated some of these people. There was one young lady in particular on Big Brother that was a real piece of work. Chris would remember her name… she made her boyfriend look like an idiot while she was on the show, then they both showed America their wonderful relationship with a return appearance on the Amazing Race. Anyway, after a long respite from “reality,” I started to let it creep back in.

These shows have to be like gold to the television industry. I wonder if in the not too distant future they will make up more than half of what we watch on TV. You may even think you are above “those silly shows” but if you watch American Idol or John & Kate Plus 8 (has anyone learned being married and a reality TV show don’t mix?) or any other show that has “normal, everyday people” in it, you are one of us.

But I think it’s time that we find a new name for these shows. Maybe someone has already, I don’t know, but these shows are anything but real. I guess Manufactured Reality TV isn’t as catchy, but it definitely is more precise. Besides the original Real World: New York way back in the day, none of these shows just follow someone in their everyday life. There is always something or someone introduced to make things happen. Whether it’s a vacation, a new job opportunity and the ever popular alchohol, nothing is just real life. Why? Real life is pretty boring… it’s you sitting at your desk or staring at your screen until lunch. It’s you getting the kids ready in the morning or going to the bank. Real life is mundane at times.

Another disturbing reality trend are shows like Gene Simmons Family Jewels where not only are scenarios manufactured, but they are acted out. It almost seems like Gene and a staff of writers talk about funny stories they have experienced in life or “wouldn’t this be funny?” moments and have Gene and his family act them out as if they are their own reality. Confused yet? Me too. It reminds me of when Kramer sells his life stories to J. Peterman on Seinfeld.

Alas, I keep watching.

Now every quasi celebrity we grew up with is getting a reality show. Corey Haim & Corey Feldman (canceled… too real when Haim got back on drugs), MC Hammer, Torri Spelling and a host of others. Not to mention shows where a bunch of celebs go on together. Even Screech has been on a bunch of these shows. You know, there was a time when reality shows gave the common man a chance to be famous… washed up celebs couldn’t have that. Now we have the Celebrity Apprentice, Celebrity Fit Club, I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Outta’ Here (total Survivor meets Big Brother rip off) and I’m sure there are more to come.

Why am I spouting off about all this? I have no idea… maybe to share with you so you don’t feel so bad about yourself for watching or maybe so we can all admit we have a problem. All I know is I love watching these shows and then talking about how lame I am for watching them.

Plus, I would have never known anything about Spencer Pratt if it weren’t for I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Outta’ Here. It’s like when you see the Godfather for the first and then you understand all the jokes. I would have missed out on a lot of punch lines if I hadn’t learned a little about Spencer Pratt… I fear for future generations if they are learning any life lessons from the Hills.

So when all is said and done, why not take a few hours this week and plop yourself down in front of the TV and escape reality… to a simpler place where Baldwin brothers live with the guy from La Bamba and the kid from American Idol that wasn’t very good but kept sticking around because of Vote for the Worst.com (so that’s how Janice Dickinson is sticking around!). The psuedo reality called Reality TV.